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30th Apr 2020

John's Lockdown Blog (inst.12)

by Burns Team Writer

Coronavirus Lockdown 29th April

How are you on ballet? Today is the 96th birthday of Zizi Jeanmaire. You may wonder who she is and I must confess although the name did sound familiar I didn’t know why. She is a French ballet dancer and she features in the Peter Sarstedt song, “Where do you go to my lovely?”

You talk like Marlene Dietrich
And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire.

That song contains a personal mondegreen for me (See previous blog about mondegreen)

“With your carefully designed topless swimsuit
You get an even suntan on your back, and on your legs.”

I thought it was:

“With your carefully designed topless swimsuit
You get from Yves Sauntaine on your back.”

A recent Observer 4,500 word newspaper article mainly about the Squatty Potty. Essentially, an American mother and son have made a fortune with their design for a stool to be used when pooing. The rationale is that sitting on the toilet is unnatural compared to squatting and this causes constipation and other pooing difficulties and in fact may be at the root of many of our ills.

Fair enough but as any dog owner will confirm, what happens at the lower end of the digestive system is determined by what goes into the opposite end of the digestive system. Our daily food determines the health of the digestive tract. That applies to humans too although we vary our own diet so much that it is difficult to decide what suits our gut and what doesn’t.

The Observer printed that article last week but funnily enough, sister paper The Guardian printed the very same article in 2015.  What’s going on here? Does someone have shares in Squatty Potty?

If they’re short of material to put in the paper I’d be happy to offer a 4,500 article about the merits of Burns food.

Stay safe,